Pick me! Pick me! Replies to my internet dating pofile!

So, I decided to give internet dating a little go to try and end my tragic love life. Instead what occured was I collated a number of 'enquiries' from men for your entertainment. I guess it gives great insight into the mind of some people out there looking for luuuurve.

Here are some messages I have received from men (and women) who have contacted me.

"Hello, I'm very genuine and nice :0)"

 "Wheres York from here lm leaning toplay uke myself and have allways dated the younger lady as l like a fit bird on my arm."

"Hello beautiful lady x I’m pretty new to all this so you’ll have to go with me here…..I’ve only just moved to the area….I say just but I’ve been in Yorkshire either West or East for around 6 months now….looking to put my roots down and fall head over heels in love with a beautiful and caring person, maybe that person could be you…not really sure about the whole internet dating site thing but I’d like to think it really did work and put right all my friends who said its wrong if that makes sense x I’ve read you profile a few times now and I like what I’ve read, so I thought I should take the time out and send you a message, hopefully leading to something else maybe ? Maybe get to know each other a little better? Who knows unless we take a chance on each other right……
Well I’ll see if I get a reply back x hopefully I will, until then take care, hugs and kisses Jez xxx"

I didnt respond to him so he sent...

"hello beautiful lady x have sent you messages before but your probably inundated with them or i'm simply not your type....if it's the first case....could i persuade you to forget them and take a chance on me xxx promise you won't regret it or look back jez x"

"Can you cope with the distance and time? X (I just wondered if he was asking me a maths equation?)

"hello, think we'd click en have some fun getting to know each other, I'm single, 34, no kids en never married, want to chat or arrange a meet up or something sexy u??xx"

"Well what can I say, perhaps you have me intrigued ;-)"

"hi hunni, you're stunnin :)i know it says youre straight, but i'll be honest, do u know what a shemale is? a girl with 'extras'? lol, well, if ur into it would love to chat, do you have msn? x"

"Wow you are stunning! And a fellow yorkie! Love York, anyway hope you are well on this drizzly day x" 
"hey do u fancy a chat with a real life gentle giant x" (from a 7ft man!)


"hya sexy hav u gt eny fetishes xxxxxxx"

"Hi
Could you please consider me for the boyfriend role your currently advertising.
I believe I posess many of the skills required and the enthusiasm to learn those I my not, I have previous expierience of relationships and its a minefield I feel comfortable in and find the challenge of a female very enjoyable and rewarding.
Thank you for reading my application and I look forward to hearing from you soon
Regards
Nathan"

"hiya;)"

"Just writing to register my interest in you.
Your profile is really well written! You seem a girl full of interests :D
Hope you write back."

"Hi there how's u doing? Been a while since I've been here I'm maybe very shy at first but liked ur profile so thought I'd be brave try break the ice hope u don't mind?
Well hope to hear back from u till then takecare hugs"

"Coooooool you play the Uke! o/\o ^5 >_>^ ^_  Awesome. I'll take you out! :-)"

"hi,so whats been your strangest date?"

to be continued!..........